Why do we hurt the people we love...
Have you ever asked yourself that question? Lately it seems like that's all I can think of.
So why do we do it?
The simple answer is because our loved ones are always around us and they are simply so close that they are caught in the fall out of our faults, mistakes and shortcomings... But that's the simple answer.
I think it's a lot deeper than that. We become complacent with their love. I personally rely on the false assertion that my loved ones will, out of love, forgive all my transgressions simply because they love me but that is selfish and condescending.
What happens when the hurt becomes habitual? How many times can you hurt someone before they start hurting you back... a perpetual cycle of pain. Who wants that? Not I ... So how can you, I or anyone for that matter stop this vicious cycle...
For starters I am going to start by analyzing my actions and identify what it is that I am doing wrong.... You know the whole fix yourself before you try to fix others... Ha ha, easier said than done, don't you think. But seriously, here is where a little self analysis can go a long way....
So once we've identified our wrong doings, what next?
Identify expectations... yours, theirs (whomever we seem to be hurting and this point in time).
What do they expect from you? Why haven't you met that expectation? Are you willing to change your behavior in order to meet that expectation?
If your answers to the above questions were remotely similar to; love and respect; aloofness, procrastination and stubbornness; Yes, then we are on the right track... or at least it's the path I'm taking...
If you haven't been doing so lately then start putting their needs before yours. Listen, don't just hear what they say but really absorb what they're feeling. Go the extra mile to be kinder, generous and giving. Be kinder with your words, generous with your time and giving of your love... Sure at first it will hard. It may or may not be well received, specially if it is a departure from what you and they have become accustomed to. But try, try harder and when you feel like it's all in vein try even harder. You will eventually reap the rewards and that relationship which you have unconsciously neglected will either return to its former glory or reincarnate but this time it will be more beautiful, stronger, more rewarding but most importantly fill your life with unimaginable happiness.
Good Luck, wish me well for I will do the same for you.
Please comment, let me know what you think... good or bad... but be kind.
